Phill This, Phill That

Phrases for Phases

When faced with different phases of my life, I would always create a life motto that described where I am and what I want to do. My Phrases for Phases outlines the Chapters of my life:

“Let’s focus on me…”, I told myself as I tip-toed out of the dark lonely closet.

“Let’s explore the world!” guided my adventures in Japan and Asia.

“Let’s be brilliant” is when got back home from Japan and decided I wanted to be somebody. I couldn’t believe that I scored straight A’s for the first time in my life.

“Work hard play hard” or as I joke, “work hard play harder” came right after “I need a job” also known as “”The Escape” from Chicago.

When I entered the young professional dating scene, I decided “love can wait”. Ironically, that lasted two weeks.

After moving to San Francisco, I told myself to “ride the wave“… both on and off the surf board.

I’ve been here for a whole year… I’ve rode the wave…. things are good… life is comfortable… maybe it’s time to:

“Keep smelling the flowers”

Recurring Nightmare

It used to be zombies and interpreted it as feeling helpless. Now it’s people trying to kill me. Dream Dictionary says:

To dream that you are murdered… You are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions… The dream may also be about your unused talents.

San Franniversary

July 13, 2011 marks my one year since moving to SF from Washington DC. 

Signs of Californication:

• When in DC, I would party in NYC or visit friends in Philly. Now, I’m always in LA and Las Vegas!! I visited Hawaii for the first time, and plan on going again!
• I’m slowly getting over my “Suburbaphobia” since the Bay Area’s burbs are actually very Urban and/or pleasant bike-thru towns. Who knew I’d spend so much time in Fairfax, CA and Marin County?
• I accmplished the AIDS Lifecycle and rode 550 miles from SF to LA, with CA’s amazing landscape in between.
• I love SF. I love the city, the politics, and especially the people. We live life, we celebrate difference, we’re snobs lol!

Now I still need to accomplish my life dream of being an amazing surfer!! To be continued…

-Phillip

NY Passes Gay Marriage

“Their love is worth the same as your love. Their partnership is worth the same as your partnership. And they are equal in your eyes to you. That is the driving issue.” -Governor Cuomo of NY

Everytime a battle is won for gay rights, I cry. Sometimes, they are tears of joy, like when I was living in Washington DC and the city passed legalized gay marriage. Couples lined up to get married at city hall for a right they had waited for their whole lives.

And there are tears of pain I can’t hold back. As laws would pass or not, I’m returned to my childhood days where I had no one to turn to and wondered why the world hated gay people. In 2008, I had done nothing to make sure gay marriage passed in California. I did not donate a dime. I did not make a phone call. I did not call my family and ask how they’re voting. In 2009, I volunteered for 3 hours a week to make phone calls to folks in Maine, asking them to vote to pass same sex marriage.

We lost. I felt personally defeated and I still didn’t get why people discriminate against us.

We (gay people) have been through a lot. We had to come out, first and most difficult to ourselves. And what I mean by that is you have to accept that you’re different and that you’re not going to have as easy of a life as if you were straight. It’s the internal process of removing the societal built homophobia, from anti-gay churches to those damn kids saying “that’s gay” in 8th grade. Once you go through the painful deconstruction process,  you can finally start to live your life freely.

Or can we?

Then you have to gather the courage to come out to your parents, your friends, and family. I was lucky. My friends found the heart to love me anyways. I was surprised. My parents already knew. We laugh about this now. The hardest was my little brother raised in a conservative Christian vacuum. It took him a bit of time, but he’s been totally awesome about it since I told him.

And even when you accept  that you’re gay, and your loved ones really love you for who you are, you still have to deal with a society that discriminates against you. With laws that prevent you from as simple a thing as marrying the person you love.

Cheers to NY for passing same sex marriage last week and this great article (below). I cried. They were tears of pain for all the crap I’ve been put through, but they were also tears of healing as we move forward in the fight for equality. And of course, tears of joy for all those happy couples who have fought so hard so they can finally get married.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha2